I knew a good night's rest and a little time talking to my God would quiet my mind and heart. I have to admit that I was a little mad at God yesterday for not submitting to my plan. But, when I sat back and discussed everything with Him and paid attention to my thoughts, I realized just how wrong I was being. Who am I to think my plan is more important than God's?!!!!
Okay, so I actually knew I was wrong yesterday but I was in a "moment" and decided to pitch a fit like a little child. (Whew, I'm so glad God understands)!
Anyways, God reminded me last night that He knows the end result and He knows what is best. As with anything else, it would not be good for Paul to be in a job if it is not where God wants him to be.
And God HAS been providing for us through it all. We may be having to "tighten our belts" a little right now BUT all of our bills are paid and there is food on our table. I think that is saying a lot considering Paul hasn't worked a full time job in over a year and the economy is in such bad shape. I know there are many people who wish they could say food is on the table and the bills are paid! And I know most families would have already crashed if the main bread winner had gone a year without working!!! I can honestly see how God is providing for us!
One thing today that kind of "slapped some sense into me" was a phone call I received this morning. My friend Nicole called and asked if I could watch two of her children because she needed to take her two year old to the hospital because he had a fever and was feeling really awful. That may not seem like such an eye opener to some of you.....until you hear that my friend's two year old is fighting leukemia. Of course, I gladly watched her children so she could take care of her little guy.
I realized that I was complaining because we don't have much income while my friend is struggling to keep her child alive. I knew in an instant that I would take the financial struggle over the chance of losing one of my children any day of the week.
Then, this afternoon, I received an email from another friend whose teenage daughter is in bad shape and was transferred from juvenile hall to a mental facility in the hopes that they can help her. I realized yet again how fortunate I am.
Sometimes in my "moments" I forget how blessed I am.....how much God has given me. It is always a huge awakening when I stop for a minute and allow God to point out to me how much worse things could be.
So tonight I say, "Thank you God for all that you have given me and continue to give me. Thank you for my healthy children and for your love and grace. I humbly ask your forgiveness for my anger yesterday and I continue to pray for your will to be done!"
And all God's people said, "Amen!"






